Saturday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Could Have Been Worse

It could have been worse.

I could have been too short, too tall, too fat or too skinny.
I could have been poor, in debt or insolvent.
I could have been weak-willed, fearful, or reluctant.
I could have been a thief or a cheat.
I could have been violent, an abuser or a fighter.
I could have gambled, stole or killed.
I  could  have been a drunk, drug dependent, or gambler.
I could have been deranged, depressed or despondent.
I could have been cheap, self-centred or materialistic.
I could have been an over eater, over the top or overboard.
I could have been ignorant, foolish or immature.
I could have used abusive language, or violent behaviour.
I could have cheated or lied.
I could have been arrogant, rude or domineering.
I could have been temperamental, conceited or unreliable.
I could have been pessimistic, or condescending.
I could have been aloof, belligerent, big-headed, bitchy, boastful, boring, bossy, callous, cantankerous, careless, clinging, compulsive, cowardly, cruel, deceitful, detached or, grumpy.

Oh wait. I am grumpy. Anyway, it could have been worse.


Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 30, the theme is It Could Have Been Worse.


Friday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Breaking the rules

Cider House Rules
I stared and stared at this topic over the last 28 days. 28 days later, I feel like my brain was ravaged by zombies.

Today's prompt, 'Breaking the Rules' brought nothing to mind. I break rules, I bend rules. I sometimes even make rules.

Upon occasion I rule the day. I have even rued the day. I have ruined days. I have seen ruins, I have seen runes. I have even seen Roo, and Kanga, and Pooh for that matter.

By rule of thumb, I have found my way. Often the exception that proves the rule is what you will find here. But as a rule, you may find anything. Perhaps even a film review of the Cider House Rules. Cider House Rules is actually a terrific movie starring Michael Caine, Charlize Theron and a pre-Spiderman Tobey Maguire.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 28, the theme is Breaking the rules.

Thursday

30 Day Writing Challenge: The Turning Point


The Turning Point is a 1977 film about about friends and competition in the world of ballet. Shirley Maclaine plays the mother (DeeDee) who abandoned her dreams of the stage when she became pregnant. Her rival, played by Anne Bancroft, followed her ambitions and pursued a career in dance.
Also starring Tom Skerrit and Mikhail Baryshnikov, the film garnered 11 Oscar nominations, the most without ever winning (tied with the Color Purple).

The intensity of the lifelong friendship of these two women, and their rivalry, is laid out as the film follows Deedee's daughter, Emilia, her mother and her little brother to New York, where Emilia joins the Ballet Theater's school.

While a movie about dance, the movie is focuses more so on the people in it. Although, the dancing scenes choreographed by Alvin Ailey, are well remembered, the film is mostly about the women,with most of the men playing background characters.

Had I done some proper research, and since I was in Hoboken, I would have just gone to the Turning Point restaurant and done a review.


Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 28, the theme is The Turning Point.


Wednesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Side of the Road

The 17 South was supposed to take us to the 3E that was supposed to take us on to Hoboken. But the 17was closed at Essex and we forgot the GPS. And we figured that we could figure out how to get to Hoboken in any case. No.
Somehow we ended up in Englewood. And Manhattan. And The Bronx. But we finally made it to Hoboken.

An hour delay at the Canada-U.S. border. A two hour delay due to construction. And 1 and a 1/2 hours out of our way getting lost. All in all a 6 and a half hour drive became an eleven hour drive. I came this close to pulling over to the side of the road and crying.

In the end it was a great weekend. Brighton Beach, Coney Island, Brooklyn, The Bronx, Manhattan. Oh, and the gay pride parade that prevented us from going where we wanted to go.

Truth be told, while I have visited five or six times most of my experience of NY and NJ over the years has been via the tube and the big screen. Friends was never like this.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 27, the theme is Side of the Road.

Hoboken, N.J.

Tuesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: An Intervention

I started an intervention the other day. When a good friend noticeably withdraws, doesn't act himself, or shows a major personality change it is up to friends and family to find out what is wrong. Symptoms of inexplicable or bizarre behaviour must be addressed.
So, with family and friends we gathered and went to Cheesy Mike's house.

"Mike," we said. 
"You have us worried. This behaviour must stop. You are hurting yourself and those around you. There are enough people in your life that love you. You are educated, have a rewarding job. You are physically fit and healthy. You have a lot of friends. Do you not understand the damage you are causing?"

We met with Mike for over fifteen hours. We finally gave up exhausted. And so with no results, Mike, formerly of We Work for Cheese is now a cat blogger.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 26, the theme is An Intervention.

Monday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Worst Christmas

According to the fake Guinness Book of World Records, the worst Christmas ever occurred on December 25th, 1987 to one Jerome P. Hood of 325 Devonshire Circle, in Andover. The second worst Christmas ever happened in 1952 to Miss Elizabeth Link, of 321 Brayshaw, in Crossfield Town.

For Hood it started with a silly assumption on his part. He assumed he was married and had children. Alas, it was not his wife, and it was not his children who he visited, gifted and kissed on that cold and lonely Noel. Luckily, with no prior convictions, Mr. Hood got off with time served, and a fine.

As for Miss Link, that winter of 1952 started off as any other winter would. Spending and shopping and baking and visiting. On the day prior to the Yuletide, Miss Link made her way to her favourite shopping place at Endicott's. Unfortunately for her, she forgot to put on any clothes. As such were the times, to spare her any embarrassment, no one spake a word.

It was only upon arriving at her little apartment in Brayshaw, was Miss Link made aware of her exposed skin, as she stepped in front of the mirror to adjust her not present belt.

Those were the worst Christmases on record.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge. Today is Day 25, the theme is Worst Christmas Ever.

Worst Christmas

Sunday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Roast Another Blogger


Today's prompt from the 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge is "Roast another blogger". Another blogger?! Heck! I say, let's roast all the bloggers that participated in the challenge. I tried to balance the insults. Considering I never actually met most of the bloggers, this should be interesting. I stole these jokes.

And I also apologize to each of you in advance. And I apologize to those of you that I did not include.



NoNameDufus is so old that if you Google him, you can find him on Craig's list and Schindler's list. 
Some people say he drinks, he donated blood to the Red Cross, and they used it to sterilize the instruments.

Leeuna you're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement right away.


What can you say about a man who is admired, revered, and loved by everyone? I can start by saying he’s not Mike WJWith most people, the left side of your brain does some things, and the right side does others. In his case, however, neither side seems to do a whole lot.
Comedy Roast
There’s no middle ground with  Katherine —you either hate her or detest her. :)


I don't like Nicky  -- and I always will. She may be a vegetarian but she's still full of baloney. Nicky was asked if she was a submissive wife. She said no, but her husband is."


"To promote her blog Ziva just began a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are confusion, delusion, and desperation. "


00dozo has no equal. Everybody is better.


Cheesy Mike is so dull, when he goes to vote, they hand him an absentee ballot. If he said what he thought - he'd be speechless. He once looked out a window and got arrested for mooning.


P.J. makes onions cry.

Sorry everyone. If I really meant it I wouldn't apologize.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 24, the theme is Roast Another Blogger.

Saturday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Stiletto Heels

I prefer chocolate stiletto heels. Strawberry gives me gas. The best ones are those fresh from the box. They are warm to the touch and smell just like gramma's kitchen. If you make them at home, it is actually not a good idea to cool them on the window sill. Any health or food expert would agree that all stiletto heels be cooled for less than five minutes and then placed right in the fridge to continue cooling. Hot stiletto heels should not be cooled in plastic but in a metal or glass receptacle.

There is no real difference between the carton of brown or white stilettos. Whether you buy a dozen or six, only the colour is different.

And, if you are a TV viewer, do not forget to watch Wheel of Stiletto Heels with Pat Sajak.

For those hot summer days, when you need a cool beverage, try this refreshing Stiletto Heel-ade recipe

6 stiletto heels
1 cup white sugar
6 cups cold water

Directions:

Juice the stiletto heels  to make 1 cup of juice. To make your labour easier, FIRMLY roll the stiletto heels between your hand and counter top before cutting in half and juicing.
In a gallon pitcher combine 1 cup stiletto heels, 1 cup sugar, and 6 cups cold water. Stir. Adjust water to taste. Chill and serve over ice.

Nutritional Information:
Amount Per Serving  Calories: 151, Total Fat: 0.3g, Cholesterol: 0mg

So Miss 30 Day Writing Challenge, thought this would be a tough topic for us guys? Keep lobbing them like that and I'll just keep knocking them out of the park.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 23, the theme is Stiletto Heels.
Chocolate Stiletto Heels

Friday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Like There is No Tomorrow

Green Peas, Bleh!
Like there is no tomorrow. What? You mean like Saturday? That would mean the end of civilization as we know it. Tomorrow is Saturday. That's half the weekend. If there was no tomorrow the whole weekend would be Sunday.

Six day week? Does the work week get shortened? If no tomorrow, how about no February? I could do without the snow and cold. What about no flu and diarrhea. Not that I get them that often. I just don't want them. I also don't want canned peas. Canned peas make me nauseous.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Peas have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 22, the theme is Like There is No Tomorrow.

Thursday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Favours I'd Ask of Satan

Favours I'd Ask of Satan:
  1. Cut my grass
  2. Make my bed
  3. Lend me $10.00
  4. Spend some time with my parents so I can take a nap
  5. Plaster and paint my bathroom
  6. Fetch my mail
  7. Go buy curtains for my bedroom
  8. Fix the light in my dining room
  9. Pick up my laundry
  10. Put down my laundry
  11. Take my car for a tuneup
  12. Organize my closets
  13. Go to the dentist for me
  14. Pick up a loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter

Dilbert's, Prince of Insufficient Light
Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge. Today is Day 21, the theme is Favours I'd Ask of Satan.

Wednesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Going Solo

I've been going so low. Oh wait, I misread the prompt. It's "going solo". I've been solo. I've travelled solo several times over the years. Been down to Mexico, out to Jamaica and across Canada, among other places. 

I've always had a good amount of friends, I've also enjoyed my time alone. I don't want to overstate it, I'm not a loner, but I'm comfortable with being alone. So, no, I'm not the guy, who will be described as quiet and a bit of a loner, after some grave act of violence.

Travelling alone forces you to make friends and talk to people. Otherwise a solo trip could end up with you being so low.

When I have travelled alone, the only people I avoided were those from my hometown or home province. I always preferred to mix it up with people from all over. But time after time the people I ended hanging out with were New Yorkers. Aside from their obvious charm, I could never figure out why.
Going Solo?
Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge. Today is Day 20, the theme is Going Solo.

Tuesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Camels


This may have been the toughest prompt yet from the 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge. I do not have any personal camel stories. And my creative side was just not flaring... Here is a round up of camel themed headlines from the last few days and decades.



  1. Camels and Ostriches Invade Tioga
  2. Obama's worth in camels
  3. Hump in sales as Sydney gets camel burgers
  4. Camel finds home in McDowell County
  5. Egypt presidency race haunted by tit-for-tat 'Camel Battle' claims
  6. Camel Spotted in Russian Traffic
  7. Genetically modified camels to act like pharmacies
  8. Camel Fights In Shadows Again Tonight
  9. Designer Of Sopwith Camel Dies At 101
  10. Camel Ride Tops Trudeau's Agenda
  11. I'd Go To War For A Camel
  12. Camel and ostrich racing at the Meadowlands
  13. Animals of the zoo: Bactrian camel
  14. Camels bow to Penticton
  15. Camels’ trek into Yuma history to be told at library
  16. Rattled: Teaching with pigs, camels, peas and E.T.




Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 19, the theme is Camels.

Monday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Setting Sail

Red Sails in the Sunset was written by Hugh Williams with lyrics by Jimmy Kennedy. Originally recorded by Bing Crosby and later covered by Guy Lombardo, Louis Armstrong, the song was a also big hit for Nat King Cole in 1951.
Amongst the over thirty artists to record the song was Big Joe Turner on his self titled 1957 studio album. The song did not chart for him but became one of Turner's signature pieces. Turner was perhaps better known for Honey Hush, Shake, Rattle And Roll, and Corrine Corrina 
Big Joe Turner

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 18, the theme is Setting Sail.

Sunday

30 Day Writing Challenge:The Awkwardness of the Common Banana Banana

How awkward is a common banana? He obviously feels inferior next to his more endowed kin, the plantain. The difference in girth and length could make any fruit feel awkward or self conscious. This yellow bellied starchy musaceae has a ripe personality. Sometimes appealing, the young and single banana strives to join the greater bunch. Eventually he must split or become the top banana. And only the luckiest settle down when they meet their Chiquita. Sometimes relationships get ripe, sometimes to juice things up the Chiquita banana might slip on something. Often the relationship will come to an end when one chooses to work on a sundae.
Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 17, the theme is The awkwardness of the common banana.

Saturday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Cemetery

New Orleans Cemetery
I have travelled to New Orleans three times. Before Katrina. New Orleans is known famously for its music as originators of Jazz, the nightlife, the food and the cemeteries. The cemeteries of New Orleans are recognized for their above ground iron work and sun bleached tombs. There are quite a few stories about the Louisiana graveyards mixed with folklore and fact.

I will treat it all as fact. We read about the warnings about visiting the cemeteries on your own and never after dark. Generally, if you attend with a tour you are at your safest from muggings and related incidents.

Burial plots in New Orleans are shallow due to the high water table. Just a few feet down, the earth becomes soggy, and the graves fill with water. Learning from trial and error, early settlers would find the caskets floating to the surface, even popping out of ground.
The older cemeteries are mostly located nearer to the French Quarter, for the same reason this area was settled first. Higher ground.

Originally founded by the French, the colony was ceded to the Spanish Empire in the Treaty of Paris. It reverted back to French control in 1801 and was then sold to the United States in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803. Many of the plots were as a result of following the Spanish tradition of above ground vaults.

From their 1989 album Up To Here this is New Orleans is Sinking from The Tragically Hip

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 16, the theme is Hanging Out in A Cemetery.

Friday

30 Day Writing Challenge: First Place

I first published this story on April 9th, 2012. Right after winning my hockey pool. Below is the shorter version. Click the link to read all the trash talking I delivered.



First Place
The long NHL season is finally over. For those of you who entered into a hockey pool in this 2012 season it's time to collect your winnings or, to pay up. In my case, it's about collecting all that hard earned money. Because, you see, I finished in first place. I won.

I destroyed the competition and humiliated my opponents. 
We started this pool some six years ago. It was an offshoot of another pool that started two decades ago. Some of these guys I have known since my university days. Some I have only met in the last couple years. Whichever way you slice it, I beat their sorry asses. And now on to the trash talking.



Peter finished in second place. He wins silver. He won the second place prize. So what does this mean? It means that Peter is the number one loser. You have the foresight of an NHL G.M.. Too bad it's that of Pierre Gauthier.

Ralph Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, Ralph finishes in third place. He may have won before. I can't remember. It doesn't matter. You know why? Because I won this year. 

Dave was in first place. Once. A long time ago. On October 20th. Two weeks into the season. Your team was not bad this year. It just wasn't good enough to win any money.

Rob? Serious? A rookie as your first overall pick? This isn't 1984. Super Mario is long gone. 

Ian, perhaps the burden of marriage and children have effected your winning ways. 

I will take it easy on Shaun. Even though he spells his name wrong. This man knows hockey. All it takes is for you to do your homework and prepare. That way, next year, after every second pick you won't hear each of us ask "Who?' or, "Isn't he playing in the Swedish Elite League this year?"

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 15, the theme is First Place. Click the link to see the rest of the participants.

Thursday

30 Day Writing Challenge: The Short Hairs

I have been cutting my own hair for the last six years. I used to have long hair. It used to flow down passed my shoulders. And now, grows on them. After I finally picked up the courage to cut off my flowing locks, the barber always wanted to use a razor to cut my short hair.
"I'm paying $25 for this?!" I cried. "I'm buying a razor. I can do that!"

No I couldn't.

The first couple times I cut my hair, it looked like I had a nervous breakdown and I pulled a Britney Spears. But over six years I have learned the proper way to cut your hair. Even managed to figure out how to cut in the back using two mirrors.

And now six months and three haircuts into my relationship with my awesome girlfriend, she wants, nay, insists, that I start going to a barber again.
$25 for a haircut?! I can do this!
The "Ohara" Haircut

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 14, the theme is The Short Hairs. Here are some of the other participants. nonamedufus  Babs - beetle  Linda  Laughing (1 year Older and Wiser?) Mom  If I were God... 
Barb  Wendy  Leeuna  MsDarkstar  Sandra  

Wednesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: The Other One

We all know the story of Neo in The Matrix. Neo was the One. His cousin Ralph was the Other One. Wayne Gretzky was the Great One. His brother Brent was the Other One. For every One, there is the Other One.
Paul Kariya has his brother Steve. Larry Robinson has a less famous brother Moe. Bill and Roger Clinton. Sylvester Stallone and his brother Frank. The Bacon Brothers, Kevin and his brother Michael. For every Jake and Elwood there is a Mighty Mack. For every Bruce Jenner there is a Kardashian kid. Charlie Sheen had Emilio. Between the Afflecks, which one is the other one? What about Mario and Luigi? Donnie and Marie had Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay and Jimmy. With Dennis Quaid there was Randy. Jeff Bridges had Beau. River had Joaquin. And they both had drugs. Dweezil had Moon Unit. Larry, Curly and Moe, had Shemp, Joe and the other Joe. And I have had enough.


Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 13, the theme is The Other One. Here are some of the other participants.

Tuesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: In The Kitchen

Cooks do it in the kitchen. Bakers do it for the dough. Chefs do it with spice. I pondered these things as I tried to think of an appropriate story for today's prompt of the writing challenge "In The Kitchen".


My interest in food preparation started when I figured out, if I make it I can eat it. If my mom wouldn't make it for me, I would make it myself. If I woke up at 4:30AM on a Saturday morning to watch cartoons I either had to fend for myself or go back to bed. That's how, at the age of four, I figured out how to make my own breakfast. And that's why there was always a trail of spilled milk running from the kitchen to the den in the basement.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 12, the theme is In The Kitchen. Here are some of the other participants.

Monday

30 Day Writing Challenge: A Sense of Accomplishment

Starting out as a young and immature radio announcer I had a couple very basic goals. Admittedly my biggest goal was already met, I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, I was working in radio. I was on the air. Nonetheless, basic as they were I had a couple more goals. 

One, I wanted to hear myself on the air. That was accomplished when I started recording commercials. Driving in my car I was able to hear my voice on the ads the station aired.

The second goal speaks more to my sense of humour, or perhaps my maturity level. For a number of years I had said to myself, if I ever become a Traffic Reporter, I would do this one thing. Montreal has a East-West running highway called the Ville Marie Expressway. One shift, for the entirety of my shift, I referred to the highway as the Bill Murray Expressway.

As far as I know, nobody noticed. At the time, I couldn't decide if I wanted people to notice or if I preferred the private chuckle. With my goals completed I had a complete sense of accomplishment.
This is me in the 1930s, when I went by the name Ronald Reagan


Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 11, the theme is  A Sense of Accomplishment .

Sunday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Babysitter

I babysat once as a teenager. Only once. I was thirteen. My neighbours were desperate. They were so desperate they called me. I refused. They pleaded. I had no choice. I worked for two hours. And I was bored. I watched TV. I did homework. I read. I ate all the chocolate bars from the kids' Halloween loot bags. But, for some reason, it was a looooong two hours. I got paid $4.00. What a rip off. And that was before they even knew I ate all the chocolate bars. Had they known I ate the chocolate then it may have been a good deal. But they didn't. So they were cheap. Come to think of it, that may have been the going rate back then. They never called me to babysit again. Win win no matter which way.
 The two essential guides for babysitting
Babysitter's Handbook
Babysitter's Handbook II

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day Babysitter, the theme is 10. Here are some of the other participants.

Saturday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Magic Carpet

While I was a university student I was the G.M. of the campus radio station. It was a 24-hour 7-day a week operation featuring an eclectic mix of music and people. Side by side with the grunge and popular music of the day we featured Jazz, Metal and Blues and whatever else we felt like airing. Every radio station in Montreal features talent that came up through a Concordia University radio station.

Steppenwolf The Second, Magic Carpet Ride
One winter we ran a cross-promotion with one of the new concert bars. Backstreet had amazing sight lines, great ventilation and a new sound system. We would publicize a show, and in exchange we would have access to the talent, the show and interviews. What was to be the first of many cross-promotions, the talent in this case was Steppenwolf, one of my all time favourite bands.

I was going to interview John Kay! We ran the ads, we hung the posters. As the day of the big event arrived, all that I was waiting for was the phone call to tell me when and where to meet the band and at the same time I would submit the names to the guest list. I waited. And I waited. I called seven times. I waited some more. I never got the call.

We got screwed. We promoted the show. We received nothing in return. The next day I left one more message telling the owner his ads had been pulled, and he and his bar have been blacklisted from the radio station. Word spread around campus. I do not know if we had any influence but I do know Backstreet closed down. The place is still there under a new banner, a new name and maybe the same owners, I have no idea. I never got to meet John Kay of Steppenwolf. They remain one of my favourite bands.

From Steppenwolf's 1968 album, The Second, this is Magic Carpet Ride.

STEPPENWOLF MAGIC CARPET RIDE

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 9, the theme is Magic Carpet. Here are some of the other participants.
1. Mike  2. Unfinished Person  3. nonamedufus  4. Babs - Beetle  5. Laughing Mom  6. Linda  7. P.J.  8. Ziva  9. Mike WJ  10. Linda M.  11. If I were god...  12. injaynesworld  


Friday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Best Friend

I was reluctant to write on this topic for the 30 Day Writing Challenge because I did not and do not want to get all gushy. I have some great friends, close friends and it is hard to measure, or incorrect to measure how close you are to them in comparison to others. But I will start anyway with my newest best friend, my girlfriend. Shoot, I speak to her everyday. See her almost everyday. I guess I am lucky that we got close so fast. I mean, I guess she is lucky.
I've known my best friend Al for 32 years. We haven't been friends for that amount of time but close to it. Al gets invited to family gatherings. When he has family over I am there. His kids are like my own nephews and nieces.

And then there are my other best friends. The boys. Cheesy Mike, Andy, Peter, and Stuart. Two of them have fled to another city, three have a wife and kids, and the other has two blogs and a cat... All these things prevents us from hanging around as regularly as we used to. Oh, and jobs. Right. We work. That also gets in the way of fun.
What is that expression? Friends help you move. Great friends help you move the body.

Here's a test for you. Think about this. The answer may actually be nobody. But if you come up with a name, then that is telling in itself. Buddies stand shoulder to shoulder, through thick and thin. Some would lay down their lives for you. How many people do you know that you can trust with your life? One? Two? A few? Now, once you pondered that question, answer this, how many people can you trust with your money?

This is exactly what I picture when I think of my friends...
Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 8, the theme is Best Friend. Here are some of the other participants.

Thursday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Excess


I first told this story in my post Flying is not Dangerous; Crashing is Dangerous. I had to fly out to the west coast for work. Montreal to Vancouver and back. It was a short trip, I stayed two days. The flight was about five hours in each direction. It felt as if I was on the plane longer than at my destination.

Airport Security
The most memorable part of the trip was at Trudeau airport when I was leaving Montreal. As I was flying within Canada, I did not have to pass through international security. Only having to pass through the local airport checkpoints made the check in a relative breeze. Still, there are some security checks, but the rules are pretty simple. No liquids. Not everyone could grasp this.
No Liquids or Gels
After passing through the metal detectors, a twenty-something year old guy in front of me was pulled aside by security who proceeded to go through his carry on luggage. It seems his carry on luggage was over the limit. It looked to be over the limit for a family of four. Talk about excess baggage.
From what I could gather in those brief moments, his suitcase had been too heavy, and he was already charged $100 for the over limit. So, he crammed the rest of the stuff into his carry on.

The guard asked, "Do you have any liquids?"
He replied, "No."

The guard went on to empty the bag, item by item. After she pulled out each bottle she would show it to the guy, look him in the eye with raised eyebrows and say in that voice usually reserved for that idiot child,
"This is liquid."
Then she would chuck the bottle in the garbage.
"This is liquid." Toss.
"This is liquid." Toss.
Out went the shampoo. Out went the Axe body spray. Out went the cologne. The guy looked like a douche so it was probably an expensive, smelly flavor of the month cologne, something like Bad Romance for Men.
I didn't stick around long enough to see what happened. I hope she made him pull up his pants.

Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 7, Excess the theme is . Here are some of the other participants.


Wednesday

30 Day Writing Challenge: Pressure


What is pressure? I thought of several ways to approach this topic. Pressure to complete this task. Pressure to meet expectations of others. Pressure from my girlfriend ;) I could not come up with an appropriate story or anecdote for Day 6 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge. In researching I started reading various quotes on Pressure and this is what I found.

Great minds comprehend more in a word, a look, a pressure of the hand than ordinary men in long conversations, or the most elaborate correspondence.
Johann Kaspar Lavater


Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright


When you take a drug to treat high blood pressure or diabetes, you have an objective test to measure blood pressure and the amount of sugar in the blood. It is straight-forward. With autism, you are looking for changes in behaviour.
Temple Grandin

Pressure is when you play for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket.
Lee Trevino
Beer Pressure
There is a great deal of political pressure to only talk about abstinence, and to deny support for condoms and education on using them. This policy will lead to the unnecessary deaths of many people.
Hillary Clinton

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran, killed 20 men, then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
Dwight Shcrute, The Office, Episode: The Fight (2005)


Some other things I don't miss: the media and the pressure of just being asked to do, and being asked questions every day.
Pedro Martinez


Yeah that's right. I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help. And if I have to I'd pee on any one of you. Only, I couldn't... I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was just too much pressure. So, so I turned to Chandler.
Chandler Bing, Friends, Episode: The One with the Jellyfish (1997)

"Serenity now! Serenity now!"
"What is that?"
"The doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say 'serenity now!'"
"Are you supposed to yell it?"
"The man on the tape wasn't specific."
Frank Costanza and Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Episode "The Serenity Now" (1997)


Full of Hot Air Pressure
Mike and Nicky over at We Work for Cheese have forced invited us to participate in this 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge . Today is Day 6, the theme is Pressure. Here are some of the other participants.