Is Golf Stupid?

Golf Ball

Golf is stupid. No, wait, don't get upset. Hear me out. At least wait until I've explained. Golf takes four hours to play. It takes five years to learn. It takes thirty years to master. I played 18 holes on Friday and it felt like 18 days. There is a reason for this. I hadn't played in fifteen years.

Whether on TV or on the course, golf never called to me. As a kid I played hockey, football and baseball. I ran track. I played point guard for my high school senior basketball team. I joined a swim team and a cycling team. And then as an adult took up boxing. Somewhere in there I tried golf a few times.

My early introduction to the sport of golf involved two of my foursome throwing their clubs and calling everybody names just because they missed their shots or shanked a ball. For some reason I didn't want to play again. Also, I've always played sports - golf didn't come to me fast enough.

18 holes? Isn't that a bit much? Who wants to walk around a grass field for four hours hitting a ball with a stick? There's a reason hockey and baseball take less than two and a half hours. And football three. That is my maximum attention span.

The first time I played golf, I was on the green and used the club with the big P on it.
"Why? What's wrong?" I asked, "P stands for putter. Doesn't it?"

Call me Tiger Wood-Not


  1. You need help. I've only been playing for a year and a half but I love it.

    1. Duf, Are you referring to my golf game or my mental state? Maybe my problem is that I still have images of trying to get my ball passed the windmill.

  2. I have never played golf in all my 42 years of existence.
    I'm hoping the next 42 can be the same.

    Then, when I'm in my mid-90's, perhaps I can absentmindedly wander onto a golf course at three in the morning, suddenly wondering why my bedroom carpet is made of grass.

    It's a rich life.

    1. Janna, I would be happy if I never played again. I think I will have to go to this one a year tournament.