Another Crappy Story

I just want to take a dump in peace and privacy. Since I live alone, if I am home alone, I can keep the bathroom door open when I use the facilities. I repeat, if I am home alone, not when I have guests over. I have other ways to entertain guests.

Bathroom Privacy
From one bathroom I have a clear view of the TV set so I never have to miss a play when the hockey game is on. Except of course when I have guests over.

At work I expect more privacy. The stall door remains closed as should the bathroom door. Some people are unclear on this concept. And here is the rest of the story.

One Wednesday afternoon, while I was sitting on my throne of solitude - the far stall to the right - in walks the maintenance lady charged with cleaning the bathroom. Either singing or talking on the phone, the cleaner is there like broken clockwork somewhere between 1PM and 4PM.

Unable to perform with the pressure of someone close by, and the door wide open, I exited the stall and suggested to her that a certain amount of privacy is expected. I asked that if she insisted on cleaning the bathrooms while they are in use, she should at least keep the door closed, instead of propping it open with her cart. Again, for reasons of privacy.

Perils of Public Toilets
The preference of course is for her to wait outside until the bathrooms are vacated. Additionally, I asked her to clean at the same time every day so that we don't have to guess when to use the bathrooms. I made the suggestion to post the times when the bathrooms are off limits or use an out of service sign to prevent people from entering before or during cleanup.
This was my second conversation with her.

Two days later, I used the facilities at an earlier time to avoid a repeat of the prior day's events. The cleaning lady, the same one, came in at this earlier time and stayed inside to clean while the door was propped open. An exact repeat of the events and points I covered with her. I advised her I would make a complaint.
More Effective? I stole this picture.

I did. I provided my suggestions. I sent a wordy but polite email to my colleague who is the main contact with the building staff. I stated the hours for cleaning must be posted, and the cleaning crew must respect those who use the facilities. I copied my manager and his manager. The reply I received was not to communicate orders to the maintenance people as they do not report to me. I should escalate the matter by completing a maintenance request.

It has never been more difficult to refrain from replying with an immense amount of sarcasm.

Two weeks have passed still no answer, and as far as I know, nothing has changed. I will follow up today and perhaps post the remainder of the story. What should be my next step if my request is ignored?


  1. Do everything in your power to plug the toilet. Don't go for several days and when you do use half a roll of toilet paper. This serves two purposes. You get your revenge and the cleaning lady now has something to clean.

    1. OK Duf. I wrote that down.

      Maybe that's why that mysterious guy keeps crapping on the toilet seat. He is enacting his revenge on the cleaning lady following a run in of his own!

  2. Those see-thru public toilets are the creepiest things ever! I have no answer for your dilemma. I work at home. ;)

    1. Thanks Jayne. I can always work from home more often.

  3. Well... You could barricade the door whenever you go in there. Or, and this is just an idea, hire a guy to dress up as a huge rat and have him hide behind the door while you're taking care of business and then have him jump out and scare the shit (no pun intented) out of the cleaning lady.

    1. Ziva, I don't have to hire a guy to dress like a rat, all I have to do is ask.

    2. I don't know if that's scary or impressive.