We Don't Know What We Did

I saw this clip on a repeat episode of The Family Guy the other night ( S09E15 "Brothers and Sisters").
And I laughed. As usual, Seth MacFarlane uses a hammer to hit his point home. This is exactly how men feel. We don't know.


Another Crappy Story

I just want to take a dump in peace and privacy. Since I live alone, if I am home alone, I can keep the bathroom door open when I use the facilities. I repeat, if I am home alone, not when I have guests over. I have other ways to entertain guests.

Bathroom Privacy
From one bathroom I have a clear view of the TV set so I never have to miss a play when the hockey game is on. Except of course when I have guests over.

At work I expect more privacy. The stall door remains closed as should the bathroom door. Some people are unclear on this concept. And here is the rest of the story.

One Wednesday afternoon, while I was sitting on my throne of solitude - the far stall to the right - in walks the maintenance lady charged with cleaning the bathroom. Either singing or talking on the phone, the cleaner is there like broken clockwork somewhere between 1PM and 4PM.

Unable to perform with the pressure of someone close by, and the door wide open, I exited the stall and suggested to her that a certain amount of privacy is expected. I asked that if she insisted on cleaning the bathrooms while they are in use, she should at least keep the door closed, instead of propping it open with her cart. Again, for reasons of privacy.

Perils of Public Toilets
The preference of course is for her to wait outside until the bathrooms are vacated. Additionally, I asked her to clean at the same time every day so that we don't have to guess when to use the bathrooms. I made the suggestion to post the times when the bathrooms are off limits or use an out of service sign to prevent people from entering before or during cleanup.
This was my second conversation with her.

Two days later, I used the facilities at an earlier time to avoid a repeat of the prior day's events. The cleaning lady, the same one, came in at this earlier time and stayed inside to clean while the door was propped open. An exact repeat of the events and points I covered with her. I advised her I would make a complaint.
More Effective? I stole this picture.

I did. I provided my suggestions. I sent a wordy but polite email to my colleague who is the main contact with the building staff. I stated the hours for cleaning must be posted, and the cleaning crew must respect those who use the facilities. I copied my manager and his manager. The reply I received was not to communicate orders to the maintenance people as they do not report to me. I should escalate the matter by completing a maintenance request.

It has never been more difficult to refrain from replying with an immense amount of sarcasm.

Two weeks have passed still no answer, and as far as I know, nothing has changed. I will follow up today and perhaps post the remainder of the story. What should be my next step if my request is ignored?


John Hiatt Til I Get My Lovin' Back

The prolific singer, songwriter and guitarist John Hiatt has released his 20th album entitled Dirty Jeans and Mudslide Hymns.
In the midst of a North American tour, I do not see any shows yet booked for Montreal. He was in Rochester, NY in September, and Toronto in October. But nothing closer. Perhaps Billy Bob Productions will bring the great Hiatt back to Montreal.
Something surprising on his very own website. I clicked play on the video on the main page and the following message appears "This video contains content from WMG, who has blocked it from display on this website." And look like the same thing is happening here...
From John Hiatt's terrifc album Dirty Jeans and Mudslide Hymns, here is Til I Get My Lovin' Back.


Happy Birthday

February 14th marks the second anniversary of Stubborn Fool. So grab a glass of wine, read a comic book and sing along to this wonderful song. My birthdays were never like this. Are you planning a party for your kids? Tired of the usual party centres? Don't want to take the kids to McDonald's or Ponderosa? Cleaning up the house can be such a bother. For a perfect birthday recipe here is a terrific birthday party idea for your child's next birthday. It's freaking hypnotizing.

The song is Hum Bhi Agar Bachche Hote from the 1964 Indian made film Door Ki Awaaz.


Break Up With Your Ex Day

Perhaps it's the romantic in me that thought this was a great idea. Breakups are never easy and without quitting cold turkey from that love addiction, feelings and pain can linger. Social networking has only made an abrupt breakup even harder to fulfill. The folks over at yourtango.com came up with this brilliant idea  Annual Break Up With Your Ex Day. This Valentine's Day give yourself a gift and delete your exes pictures, unfriend them from your friend lists, untag yourself from their photos, and delete the cute videos. And ask out that lonely coworker of yours. They might say yes. And, most of all, have a Happy Valentine's Day!


A Crown Imperilled

Got my hands on the U.K. release of Raymond Feist's latest novel A Crown Imperilled. I will have a review up in the next couple weeks. You want a sneak preview? How about this? Feist is back with his epic opening chapter introductions. I'll just mention one name. Draken-Korin.

From crydee.com:
War rages in Midkemia but behind the chaos there is disquieting evidence of dark forces at work.
Quiet palace coups are underway in Roldem and Rillanon; and the King of the Isles has yet to produce an heir. In each kingdom a single petty noble has risen from obscurity to threaten the throne.
An unknown player appears to be orchestrating these conflicts. Can Pug and the Conclave of Shadows track down this source before Midkemia is destroyed?

A Crown Imperiled, Raymond Feist


When Good Mechanics Go Bad

I love the Mile End neighbourhood in Montreal. I have been hanging out in "the hood" for over twenty years. My friends live(d) here, I lived nearby in Little Italy. I frequented the coffee shops, restaurants, parties, celebrations and boxing club.
Mile End, Montreal

Mile End has changed quite a bit since I started hanging around in the area. Rents haven't been cheap for 15-20 years, but the price of a condo or house has sky rocketed in the last ten years. Poor artists, students and unemployed bohemians have been replaced in part by the employed and the hipsters. Business vacancies have become the exception rather than the rule. And cars now fill up the streets.

For the last fifteen years I would fill up my car at the Ultramar service station at the corner of St. Laurent and Bernard. It is a full service gas station with a team of mechanics. The pump attendants were always friendly and courteous.

Even with the increase in the number of vehicles, the station lost much business to the new mega Petro Canada gas station and quick stop. Always one to support the mom and pop shop over the mega-brand, I was happy to go to this Ultramar station to fill up.

I never used the garage but had only heard positive comments. Well, live and learn.

Cafe Olimpico "ODN", Mile End

On my recommendation my girlfriend took her car to the this formerly trusted garage. Georges looked at the car and quoted her over $500, plus labour to replace the gas pump. Excuse me? A new pump is $250 at most, a rebuilt or used pump is $60.
So good old Georgie-Porgie yelled at my girlfriend, insulted her, and hung up on me when I called to find out what happened.

Old Georges has had the garage for 30 years. He told me he does not care what I tell people. So Georges, here I am calling your bluff. If 500 people read this story, if I tell another 50 people, and if four people stop filling up at your pump, and one person stops getting their car tuned at your station, I will be satisfied.

Georges, you fucked up and I will tell everyone. The coffee shop is a good starting point. I will let everyone at Olimpico know, and spread the word.

I thought of different ways of dealing with this.
Go pay Georges a visit. Not worth it.
File a complaint with Ultramar. Not worth the time.
BBB? Association of mechanics? CAA? All take time and has to be done in writing.
I could go to the station, use the bathroom and take a dump on their floor... hmm...

I hate bullies. I break bullies. The guy lied, he overcharged, he bullied, he was rude and to make matters worse, he may be crazy. So, as a consumer you say let's call it a day, I'll pay the 80 bucks for the hour he claimed to have looked at the car and walk away.

I will continue to service my car at the Canadian Tire on St. Laurent in Little Italy. I have always received excellent mechanical service there. And for fill-ups, either Canadian Tire or Petro Canada.

In the end the the car was towed to a different garage. The new mechanic is charging $45 to fix the car. A fraction of the $500 Georges wanted to charge.  And I rest my case.

So, if four people I tell stop using the gas pump, that's $200 in lost revenue every 7-10 days. And $7000-$10,000 per year. At the very least the $1600 I spend on gas in a year will be spent elsewhere. Just because Georges was an asshole.


More Funny Quotes

I am a little late publishing this list. It is a summary of the best tweets, quotes and status updates of the last few months of 2011. Speaking of which you can follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, feedburner... click the buttons to the right. August was a busy month. I will put out a best of 2012 in a couple more months. You can find my other funny quote lists here and here.

Well, I've eaten all of my work snacks so now I hate it here.
@AlisonAgosti April 2011

“My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said 'Just wait.'”
Judy Tenuta unknown date

My Wife brings me so much joy...
Sorry typo, Wifi.
@PatheticPaul May 2011

My favorite Armenian-American reality show? "Keeping Up with the Kevorkians!" But every episode had the same ending.
Mo Rocca August 2011

To celebrate Shark Week I'll be attacking surfers then claiming I mistook them for harbor seals.
@DaveSFoley  August 2011

I don't want to complete you - I want you to come complete.
@SarahKSilverman August 2011

Next step in my being an amazing husband/father: reading aloud to my children. They love James Michener.
@michaelianblack August 2011

You lost me at "You had me at..."
@clarkekant August 11

I just want people to accept me for who I pretend to be.
@yoyoha August 2011

If we had gender equality we'd ALL give birth through our ass. And no more Men from Mars and Women from Venus, everyone would be from Uranus.
@dietredbull September 2011

If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's kinda like saying, "this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer."
@bazecraze September 2011

"The secret to happiness is giving up all hope of a better past."

I'm planning to go around Yom Kippur services telling women, "I'm hungry... FOR LOVE"
@ApocalypseHow October 2011

The thing I like most about sex is the vagina part.
@wrongorange October 2011

Apparently Kim Kardashian realized that she was married to someone who would marry Kim Kardashian.
@cornlog October 2011

How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there. I've killed like fifteen zombies already. Why are they all carrying candy?
-Anonymous Halloween Facebook status update October 2011

So...on Monday do we all go back to hating each other?
@joshwolfcomedy Christmas Eve

Stay tuned for more funny quotes, comments, updates of 2012.