An Open Letter To My Colleagues

An open letter to my colleagues. 

Anyone can pee on the toilet seat. That doesn't mean you should. Sir, if your aim is that bad why don't you sit down?

We already established in 1863 that filing your nails in the office was not professional. And clipping nails? Every few seconds we hear click click click, click click click. Not to mention the nail shrapnel landing on my desk.

Eating Fish is a healthy way of adding balance to your diet.  Smelly fish? Please warn us so we may evacuate the kitchen.
Office Etiquette
We all fart - but you have a problem. Please see your doctor.

And by the way, cologne smells nice. Too much cologne is worse than fart. 

And don't complain to me about your colleague until you look at yourself in the mirror.

This isn't about whether you should or shouldn't smoke.This is about not stinking up the office after you do smoke. Please wear a smoking jacket.

Also, your aggressive support of your favourite sports team is more suited to a sixteen year old. Additionally, your violent hate for your home team makes you a traitor. 

Back to bathrooms, please flush after. If you have food poisoning, I am really sorry. Flush during. 

Flossing your teeth is a sign of good hygiene. Flossing your teeth at your desk is a sign of poor hygiene.

You may talk to me but you must stay at least one step away from me. Any closer and you invade my personal space. If we are in the men's room, the minimum distance grows to six feet.

If you come up to me in the office and greet me with a hearty slap on the back I will make a joke and get back to work.  If you greet me in the bathroom with a hearty slap on the back, as soon as my pants dry, we are going to have issues.



My wife and I have nine nieces and nephews. And counting, I suppose. Four of them belong to my brother. Interestingly, among my friends the average hovers between 2 and 3 kids per household.
One of my cousins has five kids. A small army.

My wife and I have talked and agreed and we will be happy with one happy and healthy child. She wants a little girl. I want twins.

Either way, at least one happy and healthy child.

While many of my family and friends have multiple children I just want one happy, healthy, very large child. A giant child, so that no matter how many kids any other family and friends might have, my giant child will be able to beat them up.

One giant child


Avengers: Age of Ultron Trailer

Whoa... Here is the trailer for The Avengers: Age of Ultron. Release date set for May 1, 2015.
When Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) jumpstarts a dormant peacekeeping program, things go terribly awry, forcing him, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and the rest of the Avengers to reassemble. As the fate of Earth hangs in the balance, the team is put to the ultimate test as they battle Ultron (James Spader), a technological terror hell-bent on human extinction. Along the way, they encounter two mysterious and powerful newcomers, Pietro and Wanda Maximoff.

Scarlet Witch, The Avengers: Age of Ultron


The Main Staple for Any Zombie's Diet

Easy Brains Oven
Some have said I have the brains in the family. But now, you can make your own brains with the all-new Easy Brains Oven!

Walker? Walking Dead? Easy Brains Oven?


The Hobbit : Battle of the Five Armies Trailer

Coming soon to a theatre near you, The Hobbit : Battle of the Five Armies. The release dates for The Hobbit : Battle of the Five Armies is set for December 10th, 2014 in parts of Europe and Africa, and the 17th of December in the U.S. and Canada. Here is the brand new trailer for the final chapter of the Hobbit : Battle of the Five Armies.

The Hobbit : Battle of the Five Armies