Monday, April 7, 2014

Atheists Don't Have No Songs

From Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers, Atheists Don't Have No Songs

Steve Martin. Steep Canyon Rangers

Friday, February 28, 2014

And then my brain exploded...

Exploding head syndrome is a form of hypnagogic auditory hallucination and is a rare and relatively undocumented parasomnia event in which the subject experiences a loud bang in their head similar to a bomb exploding, a gun going off, a clash of cymbals, ringing, an earthquake, or any other form of loud, indecipherable noise that seems to originate from inside the head.

This noise usually happens at the onset of sleep or within an hour or two of falling asleep, but is not necessarily the result of a dream. Although the sound is perceived as extremely loud, it is usually not accompanied by pain. Attacks appear to change in number over time, with several attacks happening in a space of days or weeks, followed by months of remission. Sufferers often feel a sense of fear and anxiety before and after an attack, accompanied by elevated heart rate. 

Attacks may also be accompanied by perceived flashes of light (when perceived on their own, known as a "visual sleep start") or difficulty in breathing. The condition is also known as "auditory sleep starts". The associated symptoms are varied, but the benign nature of the condition is emphasized and neither extensive investigation nor treatment are indicated. Sufferers may experience an inability to vocalize any sound, or mild forms of sleep paralysis during an attack. There is no known treatment.

I got that from Wikipedia. 

Apparently this is part of a Writing Challenge. To see more, go to . Today's theme is "And then my brain exploded".

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Tastes Like Chicken

"Tastes like chicken," He said as-a-matter-of-factly.

There were six of us sitting around the table watching Claude taste the meat.

Next was Peter's turn. Claude slowly slid the plate over and Peter sliced off a small morsel of the still steaming meat and popped it into his mouth.

"Tastes like chicken," he said.

Next was Patty's turn. A little more reluctantly, she reached for the plate. Patty hesitated and looked up, but the expectant stares from everybody around strengthened her resolve. She started chewing her piece, slowly and with a reflective look on her face. She swallowed. And when there was no response, Norah elbowed her.

Tastes Like Chicken
"And?" Norah prompted.

"Hmm," said Patty. "It's a little gamey. Kind of like chicken but sinewy."

At that instant, Ronen pushed in between them taking Norah's turn and picked up the piece of meat with his two hands and with one massive bite nearly finished the cut.

"Hey!" They all shouted.
"Leave some for everyone," someone else piped in.

Ronen furiously chewed his mouthful keeping the entire group in suspense for long minutes. He finally swallowed and with a disappointed grunt said, "Tastes like chicken."

Next was Alma, the timid one of those gathered. She stopped and started twice before picking up her knife and fork. Alma cut off a tiny piece, stared at it, closed her eyes and quickly put the piece in her mouth. She chewed twice and tried mightily to suppress a gag reflex. Tiny little Alma let out a belch that could knock down walls. But she wasn't going to embarrass herself any further. She quickly chewed and swallowed and then covered her face with her hands. From behind her hands she whispered,

Norah finally got her chance. She picked up her fork and jabbed the piece still on the plate. She muttered under her breath, perhaps a prayer, as she lifted the fork to her mouth. After quick bite and a few chews, she looked up and said, "Shawn, you really need to learn how to cook. This chicken sucks."

Apparently this is part of a Writing Challenge. To see more, go to . Today's theme is "Tastes Like Chicken".

Monday, February 17, 2014

I Faked It

I faked it. I really do not know how to write. And by that, I do not mean, I cannot write properly. I simply cannot write. I do not even speak English. I currently have no comprehension of what these words and sentences I am stringing together signify.

Random images on a page. They may as well be smiley faces.

Forget about English, I do not comprehend any language. So next time you read a story on these pages, remember, I faked it.

They suspect nothing
Apparently this is part of a Writing Challenge. To see more, go to . Today's theme is "I faked it".

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Shakesperean English

While researching today's topic, Shakespearean English, I fell on this Twitter handle @ShakespeareSong. And the tagline, "Songs/movie quotes/phrases in archaic language. Can you guess them?"

With 385,000 followers, I was not the first to discover @ShakespeareSong. Contemporary pop songs and phrases are translated into Elizabethan-era Early Modern English. Need I sayeth moreth? Here is a sample of a recent tweet.

I started out by looking for a Google or babelfish type translator. But none really exist. I was about to download a translator on my Android but my phone conked out and I got into a fight with my mobile service provider. I will leave that for another post. I filed a complaint and now have to wait for the end results.

But I got off topic. Recognize this song?

Shakespeare Lyrics has some 900 or so tweets with some hilarious takes on modern songs and phrases converted into old English.

Here is my favourite. Can you guess the song?

Apparently this is part of a Writing Challenge. To see more, and to read some of the great writers who are participating, go to . Today's theme is Shakesperean English.